This must happen to other people. I have been here for a couple months now and have had a very intense, awesome trip. I go home on Saturday, and start school on Monday. I forgot my phone number and what my boyfriend looks like. (Well, I could pick him out in a crowd, but you know what I mean...) I am really nervous about going home, I feel like I am going to be completely disoriented! Not to mention I need to find work, start a heavy school load, remember how to use traffic signals, yadda yadda yadda!

Does anyone else get culture shock coming home? How long does it last? For those of you who have significant others, did you feel this tremendous gap when coming home to them?

I'm more nervous about coming back than I was about traveling here in the first place!

Those who don't know, post!

Re: Afraid to go home!
I spent a few months in argentina, then about a month traveling through a few other countries in south America in '99. I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!! I cried when i got on the plane back to the U.S. When I got back I definitely experienced culture shock more than when I began travelling. the best way to get it to subside is to keep yourself really busy. Don't let yourself have lag time between when you get back and when you start doing whatever you're doing next. Jump right into it!You'll still miss your time abroad, and most likely you will still feel nostalgic about your experiences every so often, even years down the road, but just like anything else, you always fall about into life as usual.

Yep.
It'll take you about an equal amount of time to get over it as you put into it. Understand?

"Brazil is the country of the future and always will be!"

There is only one cure!
The shock is there everytime you come back... For me it lasts forever. You will never look at things the same way after you have experienced traveling in another country. The only thing to do is to travel again!
As far as Significant others - If you kept in touch, its just like any other long-distance relationship and coming back should be great. It is a little like going back to thet early, exciting stage of the relationship when you are just getting to know the person and everything you do together is exciting. (Your mileage may vary)

Hope this helps.

by la.vaca.es.muerta
OP, if I'm right with you you
will fall back in your common
everyday life pattern:

Sorrows, sorrows, sorrows.

No more fun and no pleasures.

And you will no longer be
able to get easy contact to
the people.

Your exploring and dreaming
will stop.

Sorrows, sorrows, sorrows.

You will be again somebody
with high morals and a
perfectionist.

[I'm not talking about my-
self, I have different
patterns...]

Afraid to go home
I was totally unprepared to go back to the UK. Is is hard because when you set out you don't expect to get culture shock in your own country. It is time to put into practice all the lessons you learned when travelling - only this time you do it in one place. It gets easier - but for me there will never be a time like it.

Culture Shock
I was in the US Peace Corps for (3) Years in Ecuador and then worked an additional year in Bolivia as a contracter in the early 1990's. When I returned to the US I was a married man and my wife (from Ecuador) was going through culture shock, too!!!! Imagine that. Well, the impact of those years has never left me, but the benefits are great. I am not afraid to "break the ice" with strangers, anymore. Actually, some of the social habits and observations I picked up in Ecuador are helping me professionally.

I work on a day-to-day basis with Latin American Customers for a small family business. I learned to appreciate family and the closeness of friends. The US can be a cold materialistic society. My wife and I have learned to look at this with humour and objectivity.

While in Ecuador and Bolivia, it was also stressfull. Our marriage was rocky the first few years and going back to the US and working with a big corporation was freaky. Especially during the down-sizing of the early 90's.

Well, it took a while....and there are still some problems...personal and cross-cultural shock problems. But, I would never trade it for the World. And you know what has been the best therapy????

Every year we go back to Ecuador, with our (2) girls in tow, to celebrate New years in Quito with my partner's family. We burn an "Ano Viejo" and Dance all night with the whole family. Our trips to Ecuador remind us how much we love both the US AND Ecuador. Not the governments...but, the people and our family.

You will do just find and for the better :-)

Never
It NEVER stops...been travelling for thirty years, and once it grabs you it will never let go.School, a steady job, kids and family- all of it becomes meaningless.All you can think about is your next trip....

No worries
Everyone else has said it all really, you'll be fine and hopefully continue to travel through your future years. Next time take your man with you. There's no harm in starting to dream of your next trip on the flight home, it may take a couple of years before you do it but that's why humans have such imaginations - to make school, work, home and sometimes family bearable!!

I just went home for 2 weeks before starting my SA trip in a couple of weeks, it was bloody weird, I never thought home would feel the way it did. Make sure you go to your favourite spot at home as soon as you can, sit, reflect, smile and know that your lot in life is a pretty good one.

Oh god, sorry guys, I've done it again, gone all bloody hippie!!!

Como se dice 'peace love and mung beans' en Espanol (sorry if I've just butchered the Spanish language, I'm learning SLOWLY!)

Oh yeah
After my first long trip, I came back so full of experiences & (I thought) so changed, and I was shocked at how much the same everyone seemed to be. For them, no time had passed (talk about Consensus Reality!). One other close friend had done a lot of traveling, so we'd get together & compare notes -- kept me (& him) sane, and kept me from annoying or frightening my other (non-traveling) friends. Because, if they haven't traveled & don't want to, chances are they just won't get it, and they don't wanna know. That, to me, was the biggest shock.

But coming back and seeing your own culture through your new eyes is one of the COOLEST things about travel -- if you keep a journal, make sure you write it all down, you'll be amazed at the stuff you notice. Maybe you should take a course on cross-cultural anthropology, or international relations or creative writing (who cares if you're pre-med?) -- so that there's some part of your academic life that acknowledges your experience, and gives you a place to do something with it. Choose that course on the basis of the prof -- go talk to them about your experience, find someone who's interested in your ideas, ask them if you can do a special project on whatever... good teachers are DYING for interesting students like you, someone who's actually thinking about something other than what's on TV tonight!!! Ask your friends, go to the anthro dept., ask them who's cool & who likes to travel, who's a good person to talk to. You start talking to people (just like you do on the road!), and you'll be amazed at the doors that open, the people you meet....

So, be afraid, but be excited too. You have so much more to make an interesting life with than you did before. Good luck!

"There are more answers than there are questions, anymore...."

Oh yeah
After my first long trip, I came back so full of experiences & (I thought) so changed, and I was shocked at how much the same everyone seemed to be. For them, no time had passed (talk about Consensus Reality!). One other close friend had done a lot of traveling, so we'd get together & compare notes -- kept me (& him) sane, and kept me from annoying or frightening my other (non-traveling) friends. Because, if they haven't traveled & don't want to, chances are they just won't get it, and they don't wanna know. That, to me, was the biggest shock.

But coming back and seeing your own culture through your new eyes is one of the COOLEST things about travel -- if you keep a journal, make sure you write it all down, you'll be amazed at the stuff you notice. Maybe you should take a course on cross-cultural anthropology, or international relations or creative writing (who cares if you're pre-med?) -- so that there's some part of your academic life that acknowledges your experience, and gives you a place to do something with it. Choose that course on the basis of the prof -- go talk to them about your experience during office hours, find someone who's interested in your ideas, ask them if you can do a special project on whatever. Good teachers are DYING for interesting students like you, someone who's actually thinking about something other than what's on TV tonight. Shit, find a good one, and they'll rewrite the course for you!

Ask your friends, go to the anthro dept., ask them who's cool & who likes to travel, who's a good person to talk to. You start talking to people (just like you do on the road!), and you'll be amazed at the doors that open, the people you meet....

So, be afraid, but be excited too. You have so much more to make an interesting life with than you did before. Make it into an adventure! Good luck!

"There are more answers than there are questions, anymore...."

Going home
I fly home too on Sat. Check your mail Kelley...we may be on the same plane. I go through it too.. every year its what am I doing back here? The strangest was after 2 years down here. I find the best thing is to start planning the next trip. I'm already doing that. Let your travel be the reality. Get your photos developed ASAP. Something to look back at.

Say what you think...Do what you say

worse being american
Just got back from a year in South America and have gone through a million emotions about being home. Shit thing about being American is that there are not many people that travel for extended periods of time out of the country so I am basically a freak of nature. BUT it is without a doubt one of the best things I have ever done in my life. Change is good - change is powerful. Travel is change and yet you realize how the constancy of family and friends is what is really important. Take your time to adjust - do not forget what you have seen and learned and remember, no one can take away your experiences or your memories... ever.

"Like all good travellers, I remember more than I have seen, and I have seen more than I remember."
Benjamin Disraeli

Thanks for the replies...
Well, nice to know I am not the only one. Though I did not mention it in the OP, I am/was less concerned about missing Perú than I was about feeling alienated or left floating around in this place I call home, not recognizing my life before leaving. And of alienating many of my friends and family, who like Arkay mentioned, seem to have been sitting still at home, unchanged. Perhaps it means my life is changing - not a bad thing, just kind of a sudden realization. One thing I am NOT going to have any trouble with is a hot shower - it's been a long time coming!

Those who don't know, post!

going home
Once it's in your blood, not even a complete blood transfusion could get it out of your system...

mmmmm
I always feel afraid to go home, because I know I'll have to get down to work...



"Yes, my eyes go looking for flying saucers in the sky"

smugman
Ha ha, its Monday soon!!!

simply don't go home
and thereby avoid the cold, materialistic life of the so-called 'developed' world. Learn Spanish, find a job, settle down, just live. If, however, you can't follow this advice, then I feel sorry for you. Travelling is a wonderful thing but finding a culture and language you love and spending your life appreciating them is truly another dimension.

culture shock
And you find yourself doing odd things at home like answering people in Spanish, looking for the waste basket for the toilet paper and holding bills up to the light to make sure they're not counterfeit.

Post-travellin blues
I am always looking for ways to combat this. I just returned from 3 months in SA and because I'm not yet working, I don't think the novelty has worn off yet. I think we enjoy travelling so much (apart from the obvious reasons) because we live IN THE MOMENT everywhere we go, we rarely think about the past and we rarely think about the future, we're totally in the moment and myself, I am WAY more open to people and experiences than I am when I'm at home. Such a shame. If we could only take our travelling mindset and transport it back to our homeland......

to barbara #18
yeah, that was great! felt the same way when I returned
from Peru and Bolivia.

I found when I returned to the States, I couldn't believe
how expensive it is here. And how easily people spend money
here.

Also walking around grocery stores was a shock. We have
everything here. I'm not complaining but after living
frugally and not seeing any huge stores it was surprising.

Everyone drives cars, people who are poor in America are
still rich compared to the people I saw in Peru and Bolivia.

Fortunately, I live in a Spanish speaking neighborhood
in San Francisco so I could continue to hear and speak
Spanish. Also I immediately hooked up with some people
to do intercambios with spanish/english. So I've managed
to meet some Peruvians and Bolivians living here in S.F.

Agree with Goodtime Bob, get your photos developed
quickly to keep the memories going and plan your next
trip.

That's what is so great about thorn tree guys. It keeps
our travel chops from going rusty!!!

In my mind, my one foot is always out the door somewhere.

culture shock
yeah, i was shocked when i got home from 3 months in india in 93 i was home 18 months and it took that plus another year into my next trip to get over it - i never realised that not only would i change so much but also that home would never be the same again- it was a real headfuck - i wish id known what post travel blues was at the time cos i didnt really understand it then- nowadays i dont really get shocked coming home or going away ive travelled for over 4 years and am off to brazil again in the near future- the best advise i can give is what no 1 said throw yourself straight back into your life at home and set targets to achieve (have something to aim for) i think it affects everyone in different ways so theres no one answer to it.

home culture shock
I've been back in sydney since December after travelling in SA for six months then around the world for another six. I still can't settle. Nothing feels right. I do nearly answer people in spanish! none of my friends or family want ot know about the trip, ie non travellers - not interested. I feel like a zebra in amongst a herd of giraffes. I miss the people I met when I travelled - I felt like I was amongst my own kind. the real world - job, mortgage etc is demanding my attention, but south america is pulling at my heart strings. I'm pretty sure I'll end up there really soon.
the future is calling.. who knows?

the reverse is also true...
After living in the US for several years, I'm back home (Brazil). I moved back here 18 months ago, and went back to the US in the summer. It doesn't matter in which hemisphere I am - seems like there is always something missing. I love being here, but I do miss all the American rushing and runnning around. I miss the conversations I had there - the topics somehow are quite different with friends and family here. So, what do I do? Go online... LOL. Then it doesn't seem like I am so far away. Looking forward to my next trip, though.... : )

Ecuagringo - what an inspiring love story.....

Hi doods, My names liam a 21 year old english guy. I always used to get a rush when i returned from my travels (for example to Kenya for 6 weeks) and i would become quite manic and rush around a lot. Unfortunatley a few days after i came back from Israel in 2000 i had a psychotic episode (although i had had a lot of problems with being gay). I have just come back from a week in Spain. I know its only like a week but it was sooo wicked! The spanish men are beautiful. At home i still suffer from a bit of anxiety and tend to analyse everything i do. Whilst i was in spain i was just living from the moment and i stopped watching "my every step" in case i go mental again. I think this is really positive as anything that can help me Chill or relax is good. What i am trying to say is that wanting to travel has given me a focus that i could never get from the careers advisor at school.

I say make travelling your goal in life not some career far off "over there" which you secretly think you may never achieve!

anyway please dont worry because i am pretty well/happy/adjusted at the moment

xxx

liam

-------------------------
leeds81

dont go home unless you have something to do with yourself- a job, school, etc.
or else it sucksssssssssssssssssssss.....
i speak from experience.

Culture shock back at home does fade when experienced several times, at least in my opinion. There's always something else I appreciate at home (Switzerland), wether it's the safety after being in Nigeria, the cholcolate after travelling Australia & New Zealand or the school system after I'd visited friends in the US. However, travelling has changed me (fortunately!), and for 17 years now I do not spend another 12months "at home" in a row. What I try now to prevent another culture shock is bringing all the beautiful experiences with me, and try to apply the openness and tolerance to people here. I also try to have jobs that get me in touch with backpackers, so I can return all the friendliness to them that I have encountered all around the world. One more good thing is this lonely planet web site. To know that there is people out there charing the same things, to read what they had gone through is a little like sitting on the bench of a cabana with the ocean in front with other backpackers and listening to travellers tales.

-------------------------
What goes around, comes around

Ride it out and try not to expect to go back to your old life. Your perspective will have changed and you will feel like you have too. But think of this in a positive light - you are starting a new exciting chapter of your life and you can now take what you have learnt and use it in your every day, life, whatever that may be. The other key is don’t lose your travel mentality. Contrary to what was said above, I believe we can retain this state of mind wherever we are. It’s up to you how you choose to think.

-------------------------
Charlee

The biggest culture shock is when one gets back to the "western" world (and the shivers and the tears and the fears begin once one gets on the plane). The culture shock can last months or years or never go away ... and it isn't easy to talk about it with people who have not been outside their world. In my case, the culture shock (and "depression") lasts about 3 months every time I come back to Canada. But I don't mind because I know I am going back to Latino America again soon ... as I do almost every year for several months at a time. To ease the pain, I will be moving there permanently ... soon. What you are living is something that is "unexplainable" to many people. Love it. You are blessed. I like what #18 says as well, and #14 is exactly right! ... and what #17 says it true. I used to tell my son stories (he believed me because he is my son) ... but few people believed them. So one day ... I took him to the borders of Colombia and Venezuela, village to village by bus for one month (he was 19 at the time) ... and now he has the same problem. People have a hard time believing what he recounts ... and most people in the western world don't really give a damn anyways ... too busy making money and acquiring "things" ... cold and materialistic ... as some of the posters mentionned.

PS I have the feeling that you will keep on returning to SA!

Oscar

Oh hell, we really know how this feels like...

Some wise guy once told us, that it takes as long to get used to "home" as you have been away. We traveled for 13 months, came home in July 2003 and guess what: We still have not completely been able to get used to it.

However, the only true solution to this problem would be not to go travelling in the first place. Not my prefered option.

I think every beautiful thing comes to an end and we must face the future and maybe start dreaming of the next journey...